"I had no idea what to expect"
I found out I was pregnant halfway through planning a wedding, and just a few months into a new job role, so you could say it came as quite a shock! I always knew I wanted to have a family sometime soon, but I just didn’t realise it would come around so quickly. With that in mind, we started trying to process the idea of having a baby at the start of 2023 – a wave of excitement, nervousness, shock, and anxiousness came over me as I had no idea what to expect throughout my first pregnancy.
To say the first 12 weeks were hard is an understatement. I was tired and nauseous all the time, I didn’t feel like eating or socialising, my body was starting to change, all while no one really knew, and my partner was unsure how to deal with my erratic emotions. Full-time work was unbelievably difficult to manage, and I felt like the walls were suddenly crashing in on me and there was nothing I could do about it.
"I no longer had to hide how I was feeling"
It definitely became easier once everyone knew, as it meant that I no longer had to hide how I was feeling (which I’m always confused about why we need to hide it anyway) and I made a vow to myself from that moment on that I would be completely open and honest when people asked how I was feeling and doing.
Why? Because I’d realised that every time I’d seen a pregnant woman on social media, they made it sound like it was the best feeling in the world, like I should feel privileged to be pregnant. Suddenly there was this overwhelming feeling of guilt – why don’t I feel the same as these women? Why am I different? Why is my experience not as joyful as everyone else’s? Why aren’t these women talking about their bad days as well as their good days, or do they only have good days?
Heartburn, acid reflux, vaginal discharge, loss of appetite, tiredness, headaches, low moods, back ache, I could keep going – these are all normal parts of pregnancy that NO ONE talks about. But that stops today.
"We've got this Mummas"
ATTENTION ALL WOMEN!! Whether your experience is amazing or awful, It is our duty, as soon-to-be mothers, to pass on everything we know about pregnancy – the good, the bad, AND the ugly without any judgement whatsoever. I genuinely believe that if more women knew the truth about pregnancy, pre/post-natal depression would be less common. OR it would mean that more women open up about their pre/post-natal depression and mental health struggles through pregnancy.
We should not be ashamed of feeling low or having to ask for help. From day one, I’ve taken measures to make sure that I am looking after my mental and physical health, including going part-time with work to help manage stress levels and getting out for walks or going to Crossfit which helps clear my mind. Whatever it is that makes you feel better, or whatever change you need to make to ensure you have a less complicated pregnancy, DO IT. Of course, it doesn’t automatically fix your feelings, and some days are better/worse than others, but YOU are the only person who can help you. And if I can make just one other woman feel less isolated by sharing my story, then I know I’ve succeeded.
Pregnancy can feel lonely, you suddenly lose your identity and who you are as a person. All the things that made you, you, fade away and you start to wonder who this new version of yourself is. But I promise you, you will find the light on those dark days so long as you make a conscious effort to help yourself and remember that everything is temporary.
We’ve got this Mumma’s.
